i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
