and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize