my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
