so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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