She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
