butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
