You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
