She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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