I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Let's paint friendship bongs
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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