this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
