I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
