no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
two words...techno handjob
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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