Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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