I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
