I cockslap morals
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize