There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
