Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
