Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
