If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
