"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
