This girl is more easily done than said...
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
