Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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