If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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