We won't sleep together?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
