How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
