after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize