Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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