so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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