Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
