there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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