I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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