think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
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