I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
