Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize