i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
