try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
