Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
hell yes lets make some ravioli
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
