I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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