Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
