i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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