I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
