When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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