I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
