did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
