ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
soo... how was my night?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
