Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
