Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
