I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize