Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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