Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
