no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
