We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
