He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
