i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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