You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
