I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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