question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
