Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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