Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
why do cheetos always look like penises
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize